Jenny Winklevoss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
notverywise) wrote2011-12-22 04:31 pm
notverywise) wrote2011-12-22 04:31 pm
Entry tags:
with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair
Logically speaking, Jenny knows she probably shouldn't be so nervous. The thing about it having taken so long — though it isn't as if she knew before yesterday that there was something to take long at all, regardless of how much sense it makes now that both of them have admitted to harboring feelings — is that she knows Cameron, she's comfortable with him, more so than probably any other person on the island. Before, to have gone out together would have been something perfectly normal, during which she'd have kept any thoughts of something more to herself. Now, everything's changed, even if nothing has at the same time. It's absolutely thrilling, leaving her as anxious as she is exhilarated, and certain that this is the happiest she's been since showing up here.
Because the thing is, she hasn't done this before, not really. When she went out with David, nothing ever officially changed; it was just one thing one day, and gradually, other things began to happen, too. She thinks now that that might have been the point from the beginning. So often there were others there, too, Helen and Danny, and even that could be part of the appeal. The more she thinks about it, the more she wonders if it was David she wanted or the life he could give her, and she's fairly certain it was the latter. With Cameron, it's entirely different. She's known him longer and she knows him well, and while it helps that he's so many of the things she'd have gravitated towards back home, it isn't just about that, especially not when so much of that would be irrelevant here. It's just him, and she's wanted him for so long now that this has so much more weight to it.
However much time he waited, she's glad it's now, anyway. Not all of the island's changes are things she's taken to well, the whole idea of moving backwards entirely at odds with the way she approaches most things, but it's certainly convenient for this, giving them actual things to do for a proper date (and just the thought leaves her biting her lip, trying to hold back a smile, though there's no reason for it yet). Now there's nothing but to wait a little longer, which shouldn't be difficult when so many months have passed. Pacing her flat and waiting for him to get here, though, feels a lot more difficult than that ever did.
Because the thing is, she hasn't done this before, not really. When she went out with David, nothing ever officially changed; it was just one thing one day, and gradually, other things began to happen, too. She thinks now that that might have been the point from the beginning. So often there were others there, too, Helen and Danny, and even that could be part of the appeal. The more she thinks about it, the more she wonders if it was David she wanted or the life he could give her, and she's fairly certain it was the latter. With Cameron, it's entirely different. She's known him longer and she knows him well, and while it helps that he's so many of the things she'd have gravitated towards back home, it isn't just about that, especially not when so much of that would be irrelevant here. It's just him, and she's wanted him for so long now that this has so much more weight to it.
However much time he waited, she's glad it's now, anyway. Not all of the island's changes are things she's taken to well, the whole idea of moving backwards entirely at odds with the way she approaches most things, but it's certainly convenient for this, giving them actual things to do for a proper date (and just the thought leaves her biting her lip, trying to hold back a smile, though there's no reason for it yet). Now there's nothing but to wait a little longer, which shouldn't be difficult when so many months have passed. Pacing her flat and waiting for him to get here, though, feels a lot more difficult than that ever did.