notverywise | with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

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cameron winklevoss

with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

Logically speaking, Jenny knows she probably shouldn't be so nervous. The thing about it having taken so long — though it isn't as if she knew before yesterday that there was something to take long at all, regardless of how much sense it makes now that both of them have admitted to harboring feelings — is that she knows Cameron, she's comfortable with him, more so than probably any other person on the island. Before, to have gone out together would have been something perfectly normal, during which she'd have kept any thoughts of something more to herself. Now, everything's changed, even if nothing has at the same time. It's absolutely thrilling, leaving her as anxious as she is exhilarated, and certain that this is the happiest she's been since showing up here.

Because the thing is, she hasn't done this before, not really. When she went out with David, nothing ever officially changed; it was just one thing one day, and gradually, other things began to happen, too. She thinks now that that might have been the point from the beginning. So often there were others there, too, Helen and Danny, and even that could be part of the appeal. The more she thinks about it, the more she wonders if it was David she wanted or the life he could give her, and she's fairly certain it was the latter. With Cameron, it's entirely different. She's known him longer and she knows him well, and while it helps that he's so many of the things she'd have gravitated towards back home, it isn't just about that, especially not when so much of that would be irrelevant here. It's just him, and she's wanted him for so long now that this has so much more weight to it.

However much time he waited, she's glad it's now, anyway. Not all of the island's changes are things she's taken to well, the whole idea of moving backwards entirely at odds with the way she approaches most things, but it's certainly convenient for this, giving them actual things to do for a proper date (and just the thought leaves her biting her lip, trying to hold back a smile, though there's no reason for it yet). Now there's nothing but to wait a little longer, which shouldn't be difficult when so many months have passed. Pacing her flat and waiting for him to get here, though, feels a lot more difficult than that ever did.

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Cameron's dated other girls and taken more still out for evenings that didn't really amount to anything, but it's been a long time since he's felt quite like this, if he ever has. The anticipation of getting to her door is stronger than he would have expected, though he's thought about this over and over since long before yesterday or even before Ty encouraged him to take the leap. It's just, it's Jenny. There have been other girls, special in their own ways, but none of them were her. None of them were ever really his friend beforehand, none were like her, so warm and supportive and thoughtful and clever. He's not sure if that should change how he handles things or not, or if it gives him an advantage in that he knows her better than he knew any of the rest.

She knows him, after all, better than just about anyone here other than his brother, and so the need to impress her should be diminished. He must have already done so somehow for her to return his feelings. Instead, it feels that much more important that tonight be perfect, precisely what she deserves, not just any old night with the two of them hanging out. He shows up at her door promptly at the appointed hour, neatly dressed, a small bouquet of violets in hand — not much, but fresh flowers in the winter aren't exactly easy to come by, one of the few things the island has over this. Clearing his throat and carefully readjusting his coat, he knocks at the door and waits.

Though neither the knock nor the fact that it comes on time should be surprising in the slightest, Jenny still all but jumps when she hears it, nerves momentarily overtaking anything else. God, as if just waiting weren't bad enough as far as her nerves are concerned, it's something else entirely now. This is it, it's actually happening, and while logic dictates that she should probably be more at ease for how close she would consider herself to him already, the truth of it is instead counterintuitive, making everything seem that much more important. It's wonderful, it is, but it's still so surreal, even more so for the fact that he's here now and it's not just something for her to imagine.

It takes her all of a second or two to clear the distance to the door, but she pauses as she reaches for the doorknob, not wanting to seem overeager even if she actually kind of is. Only after a few deep breaths does she open it, smile broad as she does, head tipped slightly back so she can look up at him. "Hello," she says, trying not to seem too flustered. Gesturing towards the flowers in his hand, obvious though it is, she asks, "Are those for me?"

"Ah, they are, yes," Cameron says, holding them out to her. In the half a minute or so he's been at her door, he nearly forgot he was even holding them, and it comes as something of a surprise, his attention more thoroughly directed toward her. With a hand on the door frame, he leans in to kiss her cheek (it would be so easy to move a little lower, a little more centered, kiss her on the lips like he's wanted for months, but he's waited this long and he intends to do this right). "You look lovely."

She always does, but that's beside the point. Now he gets to tell her the way he means it, has meant it for ages. Now he knows she's dressed up for him, and the idea is staggering.

Edited 2011-12-24 18:20 (UTC)

For a moment — and no longer than that, because she isn't so inexperienced, so easily struck speechless — Jenny forgets to do or say anything. A kiss to the cheek isn't much, not when she's thought about much more, but the knowledge of how much more meaning everything has now makes it remarkably significant even so. He's here, he brought flowers, and he wants this, same as she does. Even now, it's nearly impossible to believe, and all the more wonderful for it.

"Thank you," she says, warm, almost self-conscious, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Remembering herself then, she steps aside quickly as she takes the flowers, gesturing into the flat. "Here, come in, come in. I'll put these in water before we go."

Dusting his feet outside the door, Cameron follows her inside, hands sliding into his pockets. "Good idea," he says. "They're not much, I know, but... not a lot of options in the middle of winter, I'm afraid." If the island were its usual self, he might at least have been able to bring her orchids or even roses, and he knows there's a woman who specializes in bouquets, but it all might mean a little less, too. He has to work just a little harder to do right by Jenny, but, he thinks, maybe that's the way it should be.

"Oh, no, they're lovely," Jenny assures him, glancing in his direction as she heads to the little kitchen with the flowers, expression earnest. Maybe they aren't much, but it is winter, and what's more important is the fact that they're from him and they're heartfelt. This isn't David sending her a bouquet before a concert or bringing over baskets of them in a bid to win over her parents (which she knows now that it was). Cameron is so wonderfully far from that that it's exhilarating all over again, sending a thrill of warmth through her as she fills a glass with water to place the flowers in. Heading back over to him, glass in hand so she can set it on a table, she bites her lip through a smile. "It's good to see you."

That they seem to have gone over well is a relief for Cameron. It isn't like he really thought she'd react any differently, but it still helps to see, if only because it feels like they've been waiting so long for this, even before they let themselves admit it. It hasn't been long at all since he asked her out, hardly more than twenty-four hours, and it's remarkable how much it feels like things have changed, how he finds himself ever so slightly nervous though it's not the first time they've gone to dinner together. The context is different, he's laid his regard for her on the table, and that changes things, except that he hopes it doesn't, not by much.

"It is," he says, nodding. "Good to see you, too, I mean. In this way. It's always good to see you, but... I'm glad I'm here for this tonight."

Though she ducks her head instinctively, there's no denying that Jenny is pleased to hear it. That sort of thing ought to speak for itself, she thinks, when otherwise there isn't any point in doing this, but that doesn't stop her from liking the sound of it. They've danced around this for so long — she's wanted this for so long — that it would seem somehow wrong not to savor every word, every graze of skin, knowing that it finally means what she's wished it would. With as suddenly as everything happened, it's more than she's yet managed to completely process, but it makes so much sense, too; standing here before him now, even in a place that shouldn't exist and a time a hundred years before her own, it feels like she's exactly where she's supposed to be.

"Yes," she says, "so am I." This part was probably always going to be inherently awkward, but not wanting to let it stay that way, she draws in a breath and smooths her hands over her skirt. "Should we go?"

"Absolutely," Cameron says, offering his arm to her as he heads for the door. "I — do you have ice skates? I brought some, but I wasn't... actually sure of your size, so I don't know — if you have a pair already, it would be, uh, advantageous." He's got a carriage waiting downstairs — he's still nervous it'll take off without them despite repeated assurances from the driver — but, as rude as it might be, he can't help thinking it isn't as if these people have anywhere else to be. Keeping the carriage waiting another minute or so isn't a problem, and he'd rather be sure she has skates that fit before he takes her out on the ice.

"I do, yes," Jenny says a bit abruptly, her eyes going wide in something like surprise that's more than evident. She hadn't forgotten their plans to go skating, but she had managed to lose track of the fact that ice skates are necessary to do so in the time since getting back to her flat, something which seems absurd now but she thinks can only be understandable, given how preoccupied she's been. At least she remembered to obtain a pair, not having wanted to count on Cameron to provide them. Giving him an apologetic look before she goes to retrieve them, she says over her shoulder, "I've not used them, but I did think I should have them."

"Oh, well, good, then we'll break them in," Cameron says, hands clasped together as he waits for her to get them. That's a relief at least. They would have figured something out, but he would have hated to have that part of the date cut short by the realization the ones he'd picked out were too small or too large. It isn't like he's spent time studying her feet or has some amazing grasp on guessing women's shoe sizes, and he doesn't want her ending up with a twisted ankle or worse because of it.

Fetching the skates, kept in a neat little bag, Jenny hurries eagerly back to Cameron's side, unable to help grinning as she does. It's a silly thing to be sheepish over, but she still doesn't want to have had to make two exits, and trying to make up for that is instinct. She wants to get going, to not keep him waiting, not to just stand around her flat. This has been such a long time coming, they ought to make the most of every single moment. "Alright," she says, grabbing a coat for herself as well. "Now that should be everything."

"Good," Cameron says again, reaching reflexively over to straighten out her collar, drawing a stray lock of hair out from under it. "Are you gonna be warm enough?" He imagines she's about as accustomed to the winter cold as he is, and the last week hasn't seen any further snow, but it's worth checking. He doesn't want to take her out to have their night cut short or their fun dampened because she's freezing (although at least he still has dinner planned for after and they can warm up indoors, then). Unable to help his fond expression, he steps back to get the door for her.

"I should be fine," Jenny says with a nod, biting her lip through a smile when he adjusts her collar. There are gloves in her pocket and a scarf left on a chair by the door, and she shouldn't need anything more than that. It isn't as if she's unaccustomed to the winter weather as so many others here seem to be, and anyway, she'll have him beside her, which she imagines will help. Picking up the scarf as she walks past him, she stands just a step or two outside the doorway to wait, not wanting to get too far ahead when she could hold his arm or something instead. "Let's go."

"Let's," agrees Cameron, offering her his arm as they start for the stairs. At least the weather seems to be holding, the skies still clear and no sign of snow, which he's hoping will last; he wants tonight to be perfect to the last detail, and that's one of the few over which he has no control at all. He's half-convinced it'll start snowing just to spite him. What he can keep an eye on, though, he means to. She deserves the best, and though the island falls short of his own standards for that, he'll come as close to it as he can for her. "Do you want me to take those for you?"

Slipping her arm through his, skates hanging from her free hand, Jenny opens her mouth to tell him that it isn't necessary, but changes her mind before she does. Though she's perfectly capable of carrying them herself, it's nice — flattering, really — of him to offer, and there's no point in insisting on doing it herself when she doubts he'd have asked if he minded doing it. Cameron has always been like that, anyway, as far as she's seen, so earnest in being a gentleman; it's one of the things she likes so much about him. "Thank you," she says warmly, and holds the pair of skates out for him. "I'm glad you thought of that, by the way, going skating. I don't remember the last time I went."

"It's been a long while for me, too," Cameron says, nodding as he takes the bag from her. She doesn't really need the help, he knows, more than capable of carrying a pair of skates, but it's about the gentlemanly thing to do, not whether or not she needs it done. If he can keep her smiling, tonight, he'll call the evening a success. That he also gets to put the river to use whether or not the island wants to cooperate is just a bonus. "Usually if the water's frozen over enough for that, I'm home for the holidays and there's too much else to do. Family gatherings, that kind of thing."

"That sounds lovely, though," Jenny says, head tipping to the side. It's the sort of thing she can really only imagine, their own Christmases back in Twickenham typically quiet (just as everything was back there), but from all she's heard about Cameron's life before this place, it seems like it must have been wonderful. If nothing else, he'd have had his brother, anyway, which is bound to have helped when dealing with boring relatives. "If they were nice ones. We only had... stuffy dinners with aunts and uncles, which were mostly dreadful."

"Ah, yes," Cameron says, glancing at her more briefly than he'd like. It's the one drawback of talking while walking, not getting to really look her way. "We had a few of those, too. But no, it was... quiet, but nice." It's not like that here. Or rather, it's quiet and it's nice enough, but he's lucky just to have his brother here. He's lucky he has her, too, but even that doesn't change the fact that it just isn't the same.

If she really stopped to think about it, Jenny is sure she would miss home in some strange, distant way. Glad though she's been to have gotten away from where she was, it isn't as if everything there was awful. She doesn't want to spend the holiday like that, though, thinking about how odd it is to not be with her parents, and certainly has no desire to be giving it any thought at a time like this. "It'll be nice here, too," she says. "We still have a party to finish planning."

"We do," Cameron agrees, smiling a little broader as he steps ahead to push the door open for her. A blast of cold air swirls in with that motion, but there's nothing to be done for that, and he knows they'll acclimate soon enough. "Not that it would be a total mess if Ty and I planned it alone, but I think it might not come together quite as we'd like." Besides, he likes the idea of having her help, working together with her on this.

Shivering a little with the open door, Jenny nevertheless keeps smiling at the thought of that, barely able to take her eyes off him except when she has to. It was one thing to have agreed to help yesterday, before he ever mentioned wanting to be something more than friends; she was still glad to do it, but everything's changed now. Being his girlfriend, which she can only suppose is what this is, makes her practically a hostess, a responsibility in its own right that she can't help looking forward to. "Well, you'll have any assistance you need from me," she says, as if that weren't something already settled. "God, it's freezing."

"Here, get in," Cameron urges, biting back a fond laugh as he hurries to get the carriage door for her. There are heavy blankets in most of the cabs, he's found, an old custom he'd read about in literature classes required for graduation but had forgotten about until they got here. He's grateful for them now. As little as he minds the cold, he doesn't want her suffering for it while she acclimates. "And I knew I could count on you. Tonight is not about next week's party, though, tonight is for us."

"Yes," Jenny says, smiling at that, though it's a self-explanatory sort of thing. "For us." She likes the sound of it, mostly for the fact that there's an us at all, the two of them something now that, before yesterday, they weren't. Eventually, it will sink in, become normal, she'll get used to it, but for right now, it's still enough to make her heart skip a beat. Climbing quickly into the carriage, sliding all the way over to make sure there's room for him, she reaches for one of the blankets. "God, these are convenient, aren't they?"

"Very." Setting her skates down on the floorboards beside the pairs he's brought along, Cameron climbs in to the carriage. Helping to draw the blankets up over their legs as the carriage rattles forward, he leans slightly toward her. "How's that?" he asks. "Will you be warm enough?" Once they're on the ice, he's sure, and active, they'll be more than fine, and there's hot cider and things like that to drink at the fair, but until then, hopefully this will be enough.

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