with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

[notverywise]

Logically speaking, Jenny knows she probably shouldn't be so nervous. The thing about it having taken so long — though it isn't as if she knew before yesterday that there was something to take long at all, regardless of how much sense it makes now that both of them have admitted to harboring feelings — is that she knows Cameron, she's comfortable with him, more so than probably any other person on the island. Before, to have gone out together would have been something perfectly normal, during which she'd have kept any thoughts of something more to herself. Now, everything's changed, even if nothing has at the same time. It's absolutely thrilling, leaving her as anxious as she is exhilarated, and certain that this is the happiest she's been since showing up here.

Because the thing is, she hasn't done this before, not really. When she went out with David, nothing ever officially changed; it was just one thing one day, and gradually, other things began to happen, too. She thinks now that that might have been the point from the beginning. So often there were others there, too, Helen and Danny, and even that could be part of the appeal. The more she thinks about it, the more she wonders if it was David she wanted or the life he could give her, and she's fairly certain it was the latter. With Cameron, it's entirely different. She's known him longer and she knows him well, and while it helps that he's so many of the things she'd have gravitated towards back home, it isn't just about that, especially not when so much of that would be irrelevant here. It's just him, and she's wanted him for so long now that this has so much more weight to it.

However much time he waited, she's glad it's now, anyway. Not all of the island's changes are things she's taken to well, the whole idea of moving backwards entirely at odds with the way she approaches most things, but it's certainly convenient for this, giving them actual things to do for a proper date (and just the thought leaves her biting her lip, trying to hold back a smile, though there's no reason for it yet). Now there's nothing but to wait a little longer, which shouldn't be difficult when so many months have passed. Pacing her flat and waiting for him to get here, though, feels a lot more difficult than that ever did.

Comments

[notverywise]

"Oh, it was very simple, very boring," Jenny says with a shrug of her shoulders and a laugh. "Everything was, in the town I lived in, and my father didn't help with that at all. Anything fun, he could usually find a good reason for me not to do." She's been hard on him, she knows, if only in her own mind, but some things are true even so, and it can't be pretended otherwise. "But we decorated a tree and all of that. Then again, I think just about everyone does."

[makeafairfight]

"We did," Cameron agrees, nodding. It's easy to pick up a rhythm now, to remember how simple skating is once he actually finds his footing. "And there were Christmas carols, too. It gets very Currier and Ives at our house. Which, I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy it." He pulls a slight face, sheepish, aware how entirely cheesy all that can be. It's fun, though, and he's been lucky enough to have a warm, loving family that actually enjoys doing these things together.

[notverywise]

"That does sound fun, though," Jenny says, laughing, steadier on her feet now that they've properly gotten started. It's the reference she appreciates as much as anything else, but that's beside the point. Even if it's a bit cliché, a bit ridiculous, there's something about the Christmas season that makes all of that appealing. "If only for the time of year."

[makeafairfight]

"Oh, no, yeah," Cameron says quickly, grinning, "it is. It is actually a lot of fun." His family may have instilled in him a strong work ethic, but they've also made clear that family and relaxation are important, too. Admittedly, he's taken to one of those better than the other, but that doesn't mean he hasn't loved their traditions. "It's strange to be away from that, honestly, but I guess that was going to happen sooner or later, right?"

[notverywise]

"I suppose," Jenny agrees thoughtfully, head tipping to the side. "Those things always seem to eventually." She'd been all too eager for it back home, ready and willing to leave Twickenham and her dull family behind. It's only in being forcibly removed from them that she finds herself missing life with her parents, if only a little. Nice as it is to not have anyone to answer to, yelling up at her to turn off her record player and study, they were good to her. She doesn't want to think about that, though, when right now, she has it pretty good. "Do you think we ought to take a cue from that for the party?"

[makeafairfight]

"That might be nice," Cameron says, brightening a little at the idea. Leave it to her to think of something like that. He can be a perfect host when it's called for, but it's always been better, he's found, to leave the planning to someone else, if they want the party to be any kind of a success. "A little old-fashioned fun. It would definitely be appropriate."

[notverywise]

"It would, I think," Jenny says, nodding, pleased that the suggestion seems to have gone over well. "In a setting like this, it's practically called for. We might as well embrace it." There's a lot about this she hasn't cared for, she'll make no secret of that, but there's a lot about it that's endearing in its way, and the sort of Christmas he's describing is one that she thinks would go perfectly with all of this Victorian nonsense.

[makeafairfight]

"Be completely absurd and sentimental," Cameron says wryly, giving her hand a brief squeeze as they move along. In truth, he's not actually very good at that, too self-conscious to let himself be absurd, his sentimentality largely restricted to ideals, not people. She makes both of them much easier, for better or worse, and he can't bring himself to mind in the least. "As long as you're prepared for the whole nine yards — we go all out. Candles and cookies and carols. Decorating the tree, maybe."

[notverywise]

"Oh, of course," Jenny says with a laugh, nodding in agreement. "There'd be no point in it if we didn't go all out." To do otherwise would, she thinks, make it seem even more absurd. This way, it will be authentic, something they can all participate in and probably laugh at themselves. They ought to take advantage of the setting instead, put it to some good use with how likely it is not to last very long.

[makeafairfight]

Though there's amusement in her voice, Cameron's smile is wholly genuine when he looks over at her. She's laughing, but it isn't a joke, and it's a sentiment he agrees with wholeheartedly. They're different in a lot of ways, as many as they are similar, but that's one way in which they're absolutely the same. "Especially while we have the means to," he says. "I don't know what they've done in previous years, but this — ah, now this is how you spend a winter."

[notverywise]

"I've heard it's been nothing like this at all," Jenny says, nodding in agreement as she does. "Just a few buildings looking different and snow heaped on top of everything. I much prefer all of this." She'll like it when corsets aren't in style anymore, but aside from that, this seems much more festive, like it's meant to be for Christmas rather than just a sudden appearance of winter. "So we ought to celebrate while we can, you're right."

[makeafairfight]

"Always take advantage of the moment," Cameron says, and it isn't strictly what he believes, but it's close enough (there are exceptions, of course. There are always are). He turns, skating backwards to be able to look at her better. "Especially since I can't say that sounds all that fun. You know, if you have all this power and you could do whatever you wanted, you'd think you'd really go wild with the setting. Just all out."

[notverywise]

Jenny can't help the way she laughs when he starts to skate backwards, utterly charmed and not needing to try to hide it. "God, really," she agrees. "Infinite possibilities, and they couldn't do anything more creative? I think we got lucky, having our first winter here be this." She might be already growing tired of the corsets and full skirts, layers to cover every inch of her, but overall, she easily prefers this to what she's heard the alternative is.

[makeafairfight]

"Very lucky," Cameron agrees, though it's more because of her than anything else. He can think of plenty he would want otherwise, but she's lovely with the way her cheeks flush in the cold, her hand in his, and he can't be sorry for anything that lets them out to have fun like this. He grins, shaking her head at her. "What's so funny?"

[notverywise]

"Are you trying to show off or does it just come naturally?" Jenny asks in lieu of answering his question, smile pulling a little wider. "Because that's very impressive, that whole skating backwards bit." She likes it, both because it makes it easier to look at him and because, whether or not any showing off is intentional, it achieves the same purpose.

[makeafairfight]

At the mention of what he's doing, Cameron stumbles slightly, catching himself a moment later with a somewhat panicked laugh. "I'm not showing off," he says. "I don't mean to be." He glances back over his shoulder, thankful he's managed not to bump into anyone, though he suspects the awkwardness has already sufficed for making whatever he's doing a little less impressive. "I just wanted to be able to look at you while we talk."

[notverywise]

"I didn't say I minded," Jenny points out, teeth pressing to her lower lip through a smile, unspeakably warm. "I'm glad. It is much easier this way. But God knows I wouldn't be able to do that." She's a good skater, but not that good, though in this case, she supposes it doesn't make any difference. If the point is for them to be able to look at each other, then only one of them needs to be going backwards, and it might as well be him.

[makeafairfight]

"Might defeat the purpose if we both did," Cameron points out. "I mean, your hair's very nice. I just generally prefer looking at your face. At you. I bet you could, though." She's graceful enough, god knows, managing just fine without fumbling or falling or needing to look at the ice. It would take some practice, but he has no doubt she could manage it.

[notverywise]

"Oh, well, for that matter, I like looking at you, also," Jenny says with a laugh, grinning up at him. "And if you were looking at my hair, I wouldn't be able to see you at all, so I think this works much better." It would be less consequential, she thinks, if this were a more casual occasion, the two of them spending time together and nothing more. It goes so wonderfully far beyond that now that she wants to make the most of it, and to not forget a second.

[makeafairfight]

"Well, in that case, I'm staying where I am," Cameron says. "Or I'm facing the same direction. Although if all we're doing is looking at each other, we're gonna run into something pretty fast." It's probably sickening to anyone watching, he knows, but he can't help it and he doesn't care. She's beautiful, utterly exquisite, and they've waited long enough. They deserve to enjoy every last second, and if this is how they do it, then no one else matters.

[notverywise]

"We probably would," Jenny says with a laugh, free hand lifting briefly to her mouth, though not long enough to let it throw off her balance. All jokes on the matter aside, she would definitely prefer not to wind up injured in any way, if only because of the further plans they have. "And then we'd have to spend our first date in the clinic, and I don't think that would be much fun at all."

[makeafairfight]

"I would be a pretty terrible date if I let you end up there," Cameron says, pulling a face, though he doesn't trouble to hide the way he still smiles. "I'm sure we'd find a way to make it fun anyway, though." He always has fun with her, which is saying something. More than anything, he thinks, it's the way she puts him so at ease, makes him feel there's no need to be self-conscious or cautious, to be anyone but himself.

[notverywise]

"It would make a good story, at least," Jenny allows, shrugging, her smile not waning as she looks up at him. She'd still prefer to avoid that where she can. It wouldn't be the worst thing when they'd still have each other's company, and when she doubts anything too awful would happen, but that doesn't mean she would like it any. "More amusing after the fact, I'm sure, but still."

[makeafairfight]

Cameron laughs, starting down the ice toward the frost fair, though it means turning to move alongside her again. "The epic story of our first date," he says lightly, "and how ice makes us incredibly clumsy for such graceful people." He gives her a wry grin, squeezing her hand. "I think I'd prefer the story of how everything went perfectly. Even the things that didn't. Which I'm hoping will be next to nothing."

[notverywise]

"That makes two of us, then," Jenny agrees, casting him a bright smile, ridiculous as this whole thing has gotten. "Even if we could make the best of it, I'd still rather not." It's only reasonable, of course — why anyone would want to land themselves in the clinic, she hasn't got the first idea — but the way she sees it, they waited long enough for this. After all of that, they deserve to have it go right. "Don't worry, though, it's gone perfectly so far."